3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
