I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
