just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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