I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
