i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
