3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
