we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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