my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
