apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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