it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
