i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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