I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
