Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
