when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
