its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
