Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
