So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize