she smelled like a LAN party
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
