didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
