I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
