Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
they need to just BURY HIM!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
