Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
