Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
