Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
