im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
