worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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