she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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