so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
