i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Quick, to the slutcave!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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