I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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