stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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