he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This is my gift to your gina
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
