And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
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