Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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