You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
