I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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