well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
