you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize