D3 body, D1 cock
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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