We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
