Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
