Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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