and you said cock pushups were impossible
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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