tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
