so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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