btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
