OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
