do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize