She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
