so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
