I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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