he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
