please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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