Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
