I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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