And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
