Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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