she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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