i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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