my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
