I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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