when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He better not be in your backpack
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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